


Face to Face

by Storyteller_of_the_Forest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Brothers, Family is family, Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kindness, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki is a Good Bro (Marvel), New Asgard, No Slash, Odinsons, PTSD, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Recovery, Thor Needs a Hug (Marvel), Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), Trauma, confronting the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29256255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storyteller_of_the_Forest/pseuds/Storyteller_of_the_Forest
Summary: Thor has finally taken on the role of leader of New Asgard, but he still has one matter to see to. He must come face to face with his tormentor.(Part of my New Asgard series)
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 40





	Face to Face

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all.
> 
> Apologies for being so sporadic. I just finished one project and I already have another lined up that I really need to focus on. I've been tinkering with some one-shots on the side because it helps relieve stress. Plus, I really love chatting with all of you :)
> 
> This was an idea I had for a while. I was thinking about the monthly interrogations Loki had to participate in to assure SHIELD he was no longer a threat. In my mind, Thor would not like that at all (because how many times does his brother have to answer the same questions?). Also, General Ross's participation in such questionings would make the god of thunder rather uncomfortable.
> 
> Plus, I knew readers probably wanted to see Thor confront his tormentor. And that's definitely a scene I wanted to write (dear readers, I wish I could express just how challenging it was to write. I had to keep reminding myself that Thor is the leader of a country and therefore has to choose his words very carefully).
> 
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this short fic.
> 
> I look forward to reading all your reactions to this fic. Your words always brighten my day and warm my heart. Thank you for taking the time to leave them <3
> 
> REGULAR WARNINGS
> 
> Haven't seen Infinity War and am not going to see Infinity War (the Russos are terrible human beings. I don't want to hear about them or their god awful garbage).
> 
> I don't do romantic ships, especially not between family members. If you're into that kind of thing, go elsewhere (and don't tag my work with incest ships, please).
> 
> I'm still somewhat new to writing fics. So I apologize for any mistakes, mis-characterizations, formatting errors, or just any glaring errors. Please be gentle: writing fics is literally stress relief for me.
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. I don't own anything, obviously all characters and recognizable aspects belong to Marvel.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story and thank you for reading :)

* * *

It was a beautiful summer afternoon. Thor stared out the window, watching people go about their day. He smiled a little, closing his eye and lifting his face up to the sun. The murmuring of conversation in the diner was pleasant. Thor heard the waitress refill his cup of coffee and he opened his eye, smiling at her and politely thanking her. He lifted the small container of cream, pouring a little in the dark hot liquid. Grabbing a couple sugar packets, he tore them open and poured those into the coffee, stirring it in.

As he was stirring the coffee, the bell over the door dinged and Thor glanced up. He felt a faint hint of anxiety flare up when he saw the tall figure who entered. He wore a nice suit, as he always did, decorated with the medals of honor he’d earned throughout his military career. The man carried a folder and a few legal pads. He stood as though his back were made of metal, his cold blue eyes sweeping over the people in the diner. Thor sat up straight, crossing his arms over his chest and waiting patiently for the man to notice him.

Soon, the man’s eyes fixed on Thor and the god of thunder smiled pleasantly. General Ross’s face was blank as he stared at the god. After a moment, the military man strode over to the booth Thor was sitting in.

“Hello, Mr. Odinson. I confess my surprise at seeing you here. I’ve heard you don’t enjoy leaving New Asgard,” General Ross mentioned. Thor almost chuckled at the obvious attempt to bait him into a reaction.

“I love my home, but I also enjoy traveling. My brother has mentioned this place and I thought I would try it,” Thor answered easily. General Ross raised his eyebrows as he sat across from the god of thunder.

“I take it you will be sitting in on your brother’s questioning this afternoon,” he stated as he placed the files and legal pads on the table.

“There isn’t going to be a questioning today, or any other day,” Thor stated, lifting his coffee and sipping the hot liquid. “My brother has paid for his past crimes and now you and your people are going to leave him be.”

“You are not in a position to decide that, Mr. Odinson. Loki is a terrorist, and his crimes are a great many. He is a threat to this planet—”

“The one he helped save?”

“That was done purely out of self-interest.”

Thor couldn’t help but snicker at that. “If you have figured out exactly how my brother’s mind works, I would ask you share such knowledge. Loki’s motives are never simple or straightforward. You shall realize that when you get to know him more. I imagine we shall frequently cross paths, now that Loki has officially been sworn in as my head advisor.”

Thor took some satisfaction in the small twitch in General Ross’s cheek muscle at the last statement. He sipped his coffee again, watching the general.

“Did you know the file of Loki’s crimes against the people of this planet is longer than any other file on any other villain we have faced? He could be charged with war crimes—”

“As could you,” Thor pointed out easily. The general crossed his arms over his chest.

“That’s a serious accusation, Mr. Odinson.”

“It’s not an accusation,” Thor said, twisting his cup around on the table. “I remember most of what happened, in that site. I remember you observing everything that took place in that building. I remember begging you to let me be at peace and you denying me that right. I remember the faces of all the men in that place. I cannot forget them, no matter how hard I try.”

Thor’s eye flicked back up to the general as he sat back. “For a time, I held back much of what I remembered. I did not want to burden Loki with such knowledge. It took many sessions with my therapist before even I could come to terms with what happened to me. Eventually, I felt I had to confide in Loki, as my sleep was still troubled. I asked him if I could and he agreed, so I told him. Not all at once, but over a few weeks, for that was all I could manage. I have confided much in my brother and that you are here, sitting across from me, is a testament to his restraint. Believe me, General, that you still live is proof Loki is no threat to this planet or any of her inhabitants.”

“You think he cares about anyone but himself?”

_He would always vividly remember Loki’s tear-filled eyes as he held his dying brother within his arms, begging Thor to fight, to hold on, to stay. It broke Thor’s heart, but he was also strangely proud of his brother. His brave, brave brother. Loki was going to be okay. He was going to accomplish great things. Even though he wouldn’t be around to see it, Thor knew everything was going to be okay. Loki would take care of the Aesir in his stead._

“I think my brother cares a great deal about those he trusts enough to get close. He cares a great deal more than many realize,” Thor replied.

The general smiled and huffed softly. “Thor, I am sorry you feel you were mistreated. And I am sorry Loki dislikes these monthly conversations. Perhaps we can schedule them for every other month if they are such an inconvenience.”

“General, I am not here to bargain with you. These questionings are over. Loki is a citizen of this planet, of New Asgard, and as such, he has rights. As the leader of New Asgard, I have a duty to her citizens, including Loki. His rights are my responsibility, and I shall no longer allow you to trample them.”

“The people he killed and tortured also had rights. Do you think you speak for everyone, Thor?”

“Do you?”

General Ross was quiet for a moment, looking Thor up and down. “And say I call your bluff?”

“I would not recommend that. I do not stand alone,” Thor mentioned, subtly looking to the side. A wave of red light swept over the diner, revealing patrons who hadn’t been immediately noticeable. General Ross looked around and saw Steve Rogers and Tony Stark sitting at a nearby table. At a table further back sat Bruce Banner and Wanda Maximoff, neither looking particularly happy. Standing at the counter was Brunnhilde. Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton sat at the counter, looking relaxed and unbothered. Peter Parker also sat nearby, as well as Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson. Carol Danvers leaned against a nearby booth. Maria Hill was leaning back against a wall, her arms crossed over her chest, next to her was James Rhodes. Scott Lange and Hope Van Dyne stood nearby.

Every former Avenger was watching General Ross, most with indifference. The diner had gone eerily quiet.

“A burden shared is one easier to carry,” Thor stated. “I have told my allies of my…concerns regarding these interrogations you continue subjecting my brother to. I asked them if they feel safer with your actions.”

“None of us do,” Steve Rogers stated. “In fact, I’m pretty sure you’ve overreached, General.”

Ross looked over to Hawkeye. “You’re good with Loki being free? The man who tortured you, brainwashed you, made you attack your partner?”

Clint shrugged. “Eh, I may not trust the guy, but I can’t deny how much Loki helped us out during that last fight. If Thor says he’s changed and reformed, I’m inclined to trust my friend.”

“Loki has had every opportunity to cause harm or to be a nuisance. He hasn’t taken a single one,” Natasha pointed out. “As I stated during his citizenship hearing, I do not believe he is a threat to us, not anymore.”

“He’s still an absolute pain in the arse,” Brunnhilde mentioned. “He’s going to drive the lot of you up the wall, frequently, but he isn’t going to burn your world to ashes. He willingly came here and willingly stays here.”

“As I stated before, General. This isn’t a request. It’s a statement,” Thor said, drawing Ross’s attention back to him. “You are no longer going to interrogate my brother. He and I have much to do. We haven’t the time to entertain your pointless vendetta. Should you continue to try enforcing your will upon us, I will see it as an act of aggression and will take legal steps. I know you are not a man who would break treaties and alienate allies flippantly.”

Thor lifted his coffee to his lips, his eye never moving from Ross. To the untrained eye, he would appear indifferent. But Thor could see subtle signs of irritation, anger, and even a hint of being impressed. After a moment, Ross sighed and grabbed his papers, rising from the booth.

“Mr. Odinson, I want you to know that the minute your brother steps out of line, I will personally see to it that he is thrown into the deepest pit and imprisoned there for the rest of his life,” General Ross stated. “And know that you alone are responsible for that terrorist. Whatever Loki does, it will reflect on you. I hope you are prepared for that.”

Thor smiled and put his coffee down. “I am, as I always have been. Loki has always been willing to die for me and I for him. He sacrificed much to help me heal and it’s only right that I repay such kindness.”

Thor paused and looked up at the general. “My brother is a good man. And I am honored that he chose to accept the position of my head advisor. I shall never betray his trust.”

General Ross made a “hmm” sound, looking unconvinced, and made his way out of the diner. Thor slowly let out his breath and spread his hands on the table, some of the tension leaving his body.

“You okay, bud?” Steve asked. Thor looked over at him, smiling, and nodding.

“I am. Thank you,” he replied, looking around at his friends. “Thank you all. I am grateful for the faith you have in my brother and myself. I am honored to have all of you as friends and I hope you know that I shall repay this favor in whatever way I can.”

“Ah, don’t mention it, Thor. We’re family,” Stark said. “Family sticks with each other, through thick and thin.”

“Ross was out of line,” Hill stated from where she stood. “You and your people deserve to build your home in peace.”

Thor felt his heart warm at his friend’s declarations of support. He had struggled for so very long and his friends had stood beside him. That he still had their support filled Thor with more confidence than he had felt in a very long time.

_*_

That afternoon, Thor still sat in the booth, patiently waiting. When he heard the door open, he looked up and smiled when Loki stepped inside, his eyes glued to his phone screen. His posture and expression spoke of irritation.

“If we could make this quick, Ross. I am a busy man,” Loki stated, still not noticing Thor. “Ask your asinine questions so we can both get back to our—the Hel are you doing here?”

Thor laughed softly at his brother’s startled question. It had been quite a while since he’d taken his brother by surprise. Thor gestured to the empty spot across from him. Loki arched an eyebrow suspiciously and hesitantly sank down into the booth. Thor smiled warmly at him.

“Are you going to observe the questioning?” Loki asked as he tucked his phone in his pocket, glancing up when a server stopped at their table, putting a plate with a slice of pie in front of each brother. “What’s that?”

“It’s pie, we had them in Asgard,” Thor answered cheerily. Loki looked at him, not amused.

“I know what it is, I meant why are we having pie?”

“To celebrate,” Thor replied, lifting his fork. Loki massaged his brow.

“Thor, I need to mentally prepare myself for this dreadfully dull questioning and I—”

“There’s not going to be any questioning,” Thor stated. Loki tilted his head, frowning. He looked around the diner, as though expecting to see Ross somewhere nearby, before looking back to his brother, thoroughly confused.

“I’m afraid I do not understand.”

“I have been speaking with SHIELD for the past month, negotiating our treaties with the organization so that we may call upon them if we have need. I know that is not something you agree with entirely, but I do believe they will make good allies. For all the organization’s flaws, most of the people who work there are good and honorable,” Thor explained. “As part of the treaty, I requested you no longer be subjected to these monthly interrogations.”

“Requested?” Loki repeated, raising an eyebrow again.

Thor shrugged. “Perhaps I spoke a bit more firmly than I normally would. Unfortunately, they were unable to contact General Ross before he arrived in Norway, so I had to notify him of SHIELD’s decision. I did so about an hour ago. You just missed him, actually.”

Loki was quiet for a while, watching Thor enjoy his pie.

“It cannot be that easy,” Loki said quietly. “What of my crimes? What of the attempted war, my leading the chitauri armies?”

Thor put his fork down and folded his hands together, looking to his brother.

“You still have a record, Loki. I do not have enough standing to get it expunged, not yet. I’m no longer an Avenger, I’m the leader of New Asgard and as a new leader, I have no leverage. But I can protect my people, I can protect my brother,” Thor told him. A faint smile danced over Loki’s lips. “Loki, I believe you have changed. You have proved that to me, time and time again, and you shall prove it to them.”

Loki’s grin grew. “My, my, my, Thor. Did my appointment as head advisor have ulterior motives?”

Thor flinched, worried that his brother would not take such a thought well. He was surprised when Loki laughed softly, a laugh of amusement.

“I must admit, brother, you still manage to impress me every once in a great while,” Loki complimented.

“Loki, I appointed you to the position of head advisor because no one is more qualified than you to hold such an important position.”

The dark-haired god grinned and nodded once, but Thor could see the understanding in his eyes. He smiled a little, pleased his brother was not offended.

“And what happens if I should revert to my wicked ways?” Loki asked.

“You won’t,” Thor replied easily, not hesitating. Loki’s expression became a little more subtle, a little harder to read.

“You still have such faith in me, after all that has happened?” Loki asked softly. Thor looked back at him.

“I do. Because I don’t believe you wish to harm me or anyone else. Not after you fought so hard to protect this world and fought even harder to keep me here. You do not enjoy destroying things, Loki. Burning bridges, perhaps, but you never could destroy anything you put hard work into,” Thor replied. “You were willing to sacrifice your life for mine, you sacrificed your freedom to take care of me, to help me heal. I am willing to stake my reputation on you. I believe in you, Loki.”

Loki’s eyes widened slightly, and he averted his eyes, swallowing. Thor grinned. He did enjoy the rare occasions he left his brother speechless. He turned his attention back to his pie and was pleased when he heard Loki pick up his fork. For a short while, the two brothers enjoyed their dessert in a comfortable silence.

“I didn’t sacrifice anything,” Loki said softly, and Thor looked over at him. Loki was pushing a berry around on his plate, watching it intently.

“Sacrificing my freedom, that’s not something I have ever been able to do nor did I ever want to do so,” Loki continued, clearing his throat. “I simply change the definition of what freedom entails however I see fit. New Asgard became freedom for me, building it, making it home.

“When you returned, I regained a part of myself I thought I had lost. Helping you recover, it was not a prison nor a sacrifice for me. I have told you before, I never thought of it as a duty. I simply…didn’t want to lose you again. Helping you became a kind of freedom, in an odd way,” Loki continued softly, shrugging uncomfortably. “I took care of you because I wished to, not because I felt obligated to, Thor.”

Thor felt tears well in his eye, his heart warming at his brother’s words. He rose from his seat and moved over to Loki’s side.

“Thor, no! I take it back, no, don’t,” Loki protested, cringing when his brother’s arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace. Thor hugged him and buried his face in his brother’s dark hair. He heard Loki sigh.

“People are staring, brother. This is most unbecoming,” Loki said, squirming.

“I do not care. I love you, brother,” Thor replied, kissing his brother’s temple. He could practically feel Loki roll his eyes, which made him grin even more.

“Yes, yes, I am aware,” Loki replied, patting his brother’s shoulder uncomfortably and at an awkward angle. “Can we please enjoy our food now?”

Thor nodded and released his brother, gently squeezing his shoulder. Loki smirked and shook his head, watching as Thor returned to his seat.

“Sentiment,” Loki teased gently. Thor chuckled as he poked at his pie.

“I shall miss General Ross,” Loki mentioned wistfully. “It was rather fun to needle him. He can be so sensitive.”

“Had I known you felt such a way, I would have invited you to come along with me to inform him of SHIELD’s decision,” Thor said. “I apologize, brother.”

“Tell me you at least annoyed him.”

“Of course. And rest assured, you shall see him again when we begin to attend official meetings for diplomatic purposes,” Thor reassured him. A wicked smirk crossed his brother’s lips.

“Wonderful,” Loki said. Thor grinned.

“You’re incorrigible, Loki,” he chastised teasingly, sharing in his brother’s laughter.

_*_

The two brothers traveled home together, speaking comfortably about a variety of subjects, often sharing laughter and mirth. Once they reached New Asgard’s borders, they decided to walk the rest of the way. They walked down the easy path, enjoying the quiet of the newly fallen night.

“Would you object to us stopping at the memorial?” Thor asked rather suddenly. “I hadn’t time to do so before I left for the meeting with General Ross today.”

Loki shrugged. “I do not have anywhere to be. Lead the way, brother.”

Thor grinned and started down the road that would lead them to the memorial. They reached it soon enough. It was quiet, which was not a surprise. Many Aesir would be sitting down to their evening meal. The Odinsons walked up to the towering doors and entered the modest but still beautiful building.

Loki hung back as Thor made his way to the front of the building, where the holographic flame was set up. He moved over to a specific place on the wall of names. The trickster watched as his brother ran his fingers over the names of his fallen friends: Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg. Thor dipped his head, murmuring a quiet prayer. Loki crossed his arms over his chest, shifting his weight a little. The loss of Aesir life had been tragic, but Loki found he didn’t mourn quite as much as Thor.

Then he thought back to the early years of New Asgard and just how exhausting grieving his brother had been. Norns, every day of that first year had been a fight against giving into despair. Even remembering that time brought a pang of loneliness to Loki’s heart.

A few moments passed and Thor lifted his head again, whispering a silent parting to his friends before walking down the aisle to where Loki was still waiting. Thor sniffled and looked to Loki, tears welling in his eye. The trickster sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Very well,” he agreed, unsurprised when Thor wrapped his arms around him in a strong embrace. He reluctantly wrapped his arms around the god of thunder.

“I really miss them, Loki,” Thor whispered. Loki nodded.

“I know, brother, I know.”

They stood there for a moment more and then Thor pulled out of the embrace, wiping away his tears, he smiled at Loki.

“I appreciate you including their names among those lost,” Thor stated as they turned to exit.

“It seemed only right,” Loki replied with a shrug. “From what Heimdall told us, they fell defending Asgard.”

“Hela’s invasion feels like a lifetime ago,” Thor said.

Loki glanced over at his brother as they stepped out into the pleasant night. “Are you all right, Thor?”

The god of thunder swallowed and looked down at his feet, nodding. “I am. Grief is familiar to me. The sadness I experience is fleeting. I miss the Warriors Three, but I am grateful for the time I was given with them.”

“Sif is still out there, somewhere,” Loki offered, drawing Thor’s attention. “When you left Asgard, I sent her on a fool’s errand. She never returned. I suspect she had seen through my ruse, though I do not know how. Now that you have been named the leader of New Asgard, I imagine she’ll find her way here.”

Thor smiled. “I shall send out word to our allies. I should like to see Sif again and I want her to know that she has a home here, if that is what she wants.”

The god of thunder suddenly hesitated. “Loki, I apologize, did you wish to visit Mother’s memorial?”

Loki shook his head. “I went earlier this morning, shortly before leaving for Ross’s questioning.”

Thor moved to catch up with his brother, looking around as they continued on their way home.

“I wish the Warriors Three could have seen New Asgard,” Thor said suddenly. “I wish they could have seen what you built.”

“I fear it wouldn’t thaw their opinion of me,” Loki replied with a grin.

“I think you would be surprised,” Thor stated easily with a soft smile. “After all, you were able to win over Barton and Romanoff. Even I was impressed with that.”

Loki laughed softly and shook his head. “I believe they more tolerate me more out of loyalty to you, Thor. Not out of affection or trust.”

“You give them too little credit. Romanoff would not have spoken on your behalf had she even the slightest doubt about your character,” Thor pointed out.

A thoughtful look crossed Loki’s face and he stuck his hands in his pockets. They continued walking, soon reaching the path that led up to their cozy home.

“Loki, do you remember when you were recovering from the epidemic a few years ago?” Thor asked as they reached their home. Loki leaned against the wall, watching as Thor produced his keys and unlocked the front door.

“I do, though some of my memory is rather hazy unsurprisingly,” Loki admitted. Thor smiled and opened the door, allowing his brother entrance. He stepped in after the trickster, shutting the door behind him.

“You spoke in your delirium,” Thor told him, and Loki stared at him.

“Dare I ask what I said?” the trickster replied, sounding a little hesitant. Thor smiled as he moved over to the couch and sat beside his brother.

“You told me about New Asgard,” Thor said, leaning back, his mind wandering back to that time.

**

When Loki was first discharged from the hospital, Thor was terrified. He didn’t understand why they were letting Loki return home when he was still sick. Nothing the healers and Bruce told him put his mind at ease and it took everything in him not to bring Loki right back to the hospital.

Loki, for his part, was blissfully unaware of his brother’s distress. He was rather annoyed at Thor taking his temperature every hour on the hour (the beep of the thermometer always woke him up and he would glare at his brother for a moment before falling back asleep). His rest was peaceful and for that, Thor was glad.

As the trickster had done for him, Thor was diligent in making sure Loki ate and drank enough. His brother was still so weak and could only keep down broth, which the healers had told him to expect. Though it added to Thor’s worry. He was terrified he was going to make a mistake or would be unable to help Loki. Hel, he still couldn’t take care of himself. His mind was falling apart and he was always on edge. How could he possibly help Loki recover?

“Thor?”

The god of thunder was pulled out of his spiraling thoughts by his brother’s weak voice. Loki was looking up at him with glassy eyes, obviously not entirely aware.

“Don’t leave,” the trickster whispered. Thor shook his head, smiling softly at the dark-haired god. They were sitting on the couch and Loki had just finished his meager dinner of broth.

“Be at ease, brother. I’m not going anywhere,” Thor promised.

“I didn’t think you would, but then Thanos…Thanos took you away,” Loki said, his voice wobbling. “I found you, on the field of battle, in the dirt. And there was blood everywhere. It was supposed to be me, not you. I was supposed to fall, I was the one who had caused the whole bloody mess, I should have been the one to pay the price.”

“Loki, do not say such things,” Thor soothed his brother. “None of what happened, with Thanos or to me, none of that was your fault. You mustn’t think otherwise.”

Loki sniffled and laid his head on Thor’s chest. “You came back, but…but I feel you drifting away. I am going to awaken some day and you will be gone. You’re all I have left.”

Thor felt a lump in his throat and hugged his brother a little closer. “I’m trying, Loki. I swear to you. I am really trying to stay.”

“I did my best,” Loki continued to ramble. “I tried to make New Asgard feel like home. I thought…I thought if I couldn’t figure out how to free your spirit, I could at least make you a home. I tried to include everything that would remind you of better times. I even included the crests of your friends in the places they would have frequented. Volstagg’s is at the tavern, Hogun’s is in the training facilities, and Fandral’s is at the inn.”

Thor felt a tear roll down his cheek. “You did that for me?”

Loki nodded. “I made sure their surviving families were taken care of too. They have jobs and are able to provide for whatever children they have. I know that is what you would want.”

“You did good, Loki. You did very good,” Thor said as he gently ran his hand through Loki’s long dark hair. “Rest, brother. You are still recovering.”

The trickster sniffled and curled up more in his brother’s arms. “I want you to feel at home, Thor. I want this to be your home.”

“I do, Loki. I do. New Asgard feels more like home than Asgard did,” Thor whispered. “I am grateful to you for that.”

“But you’re not getting better. You’re still unhappy,” Loki protested. He would have said more, but he was overcome by a coughing fit. Thor rubbed his back as Loki continued coughing. Once the coughing fit had passed, Loki slumped back again. He looked up into Thor’s eye, tears welling in his green eyes.

“I do not want you to die.”

The way he said it, in such a small voice, broke Thor’s heart. The god of thunder tried to smile, but found he could not. Loki was not one who ever revealed vulnerability and Thor knew he probably would not have done so had he not been sick. He desperately wanted to comfort his brother, to reassure him. But the truth was, Thor wasn’t sure he could assuage his brother’s fear. He didn’t know whether he was going to recover from whatever was afflicting him.

“Brother, I do not know what is wrong with me, but I promise you, I shall fight it. As long as there is breath in my body, I shall fight to remain here,” Thor reassured him. “I love New Asgard. It is home. I hope…I hope you also feel at home here.”

That was one of the many things Thor could not stop worrying about. Loki was naturally restless. He didn’t like being tied down to any place and had to wander and travel to be happy. Truthfully, Thor had started feeling a gnawing guilt deep within him for needing his brother’s help so much. He wanted his brother to be able to do what made him happy.

Loki was quiet for a moment. Then he turned his glassy eyes to his brother.

“You are the only one who ever believed there was any good in me, who believed I was capable of change. Everyone else damned me and labeled me a lost cause. But not you,” Loki said quietly, his voice shaking. “You make New Asgard feel like home.”

Thor dropped his head, trying to hide that he was crying. He kissed his brother’s brow, hugging him gently.

“I love you, brother,” Thor whispered in his ear. “I promise I won’t leave. I am sorry for worrying you.”

He felt Loki’s arms wrap around him and his brother buried his face in the god of thunder’s shoulder. Holding his brother close, Thor felt a deep calmness, one that he hadn’t felt in a very, very long time.

Soon, Loki fell asleep, his head resting on Thor’s shoulder. The god of thunder wrapped a blanket around the dark-haired god. He needed to get better. He didn’t know how, but he had to figure it out. Thor didn’t want to leave Loki, not again. His brother needed him.

And yet, Thor could not deny the bone-deep weariness he felt. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to continue for much longer.

Resting his head upon Loki’s, Thor closed his eye. For now, he just needed to focus on helping Loki recover. They could figure out the rest later.

**

“I was delirious,” Loki immediately said when Thor finished his story. “And heavily medicated.”

The god of thunder laughed, amused at his brother’s declaration. He had expected such a response from Loki.

“I know, brother,” Thor said, grinning as he looked over at Loki, who appeared slightly embarrassed. “But I want you to know I have noticed the crests you mentioned, and I appreciate the gesture.”

“Yes, well, they were beloved in Asgard. It helped keep up morale during those first years,” Loki stated, smoothing his trousers.

“It was a wise move,” Thor complimented. Loki glanced at him and then turned his gaze out the window. Thor closed his eye and folded his hands over his stomach.

“Thor?”

Thor opened his eye and looked over at Loki again. The dark-haired god was studying him, rubbing his hands together.

“Are you certain you’re all right?”

Thor frowned. “Yes, Loki, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

Loki rubbed the back of his neck. “I know much contributed to your PTSD and anxiety. What happened to you when the Midgardians brought you back to life…I know it contributed significantly to both. Coming face-to-face with the man behind such torment, I would think it would take a toll on you.”

Thor looked across the space, thinking over his brother’s words. Interlacing his fingers, he tapped his thumbs together.

“I will not lie: I had hoped to never encounter General Ross again, though I knew this was unlikely. He is a high-ranking general who frequently attends diplomatic meetings and summits. Our paths are bound to cross regularly,” Thor started. “When he first entered that diner, I felt the stirrings of fear deep within my chest. I still remember what happened in that site, vividly.”

Thor paused and inhaled deeply, gathering himself. He felt his brother watching him, patiently waiting for him to continue.

“I could feel my heartbeat quicken a little and it was a little harder to breathe,” Thor continued. “For a split second, I thought I might experience a panic episode. But it passed. I was able to face him.

“It’s funny. I remembered him as a towering imposing figure, one of malice and cruelty, a monster from the depths of nightmares. Yet, seeing him in person, sitting across from him, face-to-face, I saw he was an ordinary Midgardian. Just a human, a man. He is capable of terrible acts and deeds, but he is not a monster,” Thor continued thoughtfully.

“I think that’s debatable,” Loki mentioned. Thor smiled as he looked over at his brother.

“I’m okay, Loki,” he told the trickster. “I do not think I’m going to have an anxiety attack. At least, I don’t feel like I’m going to. Seeing General Ross again did not hurt me or trigger a flashback. I feel as though I can forgive him for what he did to me. Not for him, but for myself.”

Loki smirked. “I would be annoyed or frustrated, but I know you, brother. So I’m not at all surprised. I do hope you don’t expect the same from me in regard to the unpleasant general.”

Thor shrugged. “It is your decision. I know he said some unkind things to you in Wakanda, after the last battle, and I will admit, that is more difficult for me to forgive.”

Loki shrugged. “Words cannot inflict physical harm. I have already forgotten what he said to me back then.”

It was a lie, Thor knew. He could tell by the way Loki looked in on him if they were working separately. Whenever Thor had to be away, he could read the relief in Loki’s expression whenever he returned after a short trip away. Every now and again, Loki would ask him a peculiar question, seemingly out of nowhere.

“I do not understand how you can forgive that man for what he did, but I shall respect your decision. You are a good man, Thor,” Loki said quietly. “Perhaps better than this world deserves.”

Thor smiled and leaned against his brother, an old gesture of affection. Loki started playing with his fingers, looking contemplative. He cleared his throat.

“Thank you,” he said so quietly that Thor almost didn’t hear him. Thor looked over at him, frowning. Loki glanced at him and then looked at his hands again.

“For speaking with SHIELD,” he clarified. “The questionings were becoming rather tedious and I did not like the interruption in my schedule. Answering the same questions was also not enjoyable. I…appreciate you putting an end to such interrogations.”

Thor smiled. “Of course, brother. I know you are uncomfortable hearing such things, but you deserve to be happy, Loki. You have the same rights as all New Asgard’s citizens, and I will see to it that your rights are protected. I stand beside you, brother, now and always.”

A small smile played across Loki’s lips and he nodded once. Thor patted his knee as he rose to his feet.

“I am going to prepare dinner. I’ll let you know when it’s ready,” Thor told him. “Would you mind if our friends joined us?”

“No, I do not mind,” Loki replied. “I shall text Banner and Brun—”

“There’s no need. My shieldbrothers are in town and I invited them to dine with us tonight. They will arrive around 7:30,” Thor told him. Loki turned his gaze to his brother, vexation clearly read in his expression.

Thor grinned as he entered the kitchen, moving over to the fridge. As he retrieved ingredients to make a large dinner, he heard Loki saunter into the kitchen and sit at the table. The god of thunder smiled as he focused on making dinner. It had been a very good day.

**_The End_ **


End file.
